Home is Hell
Friday, October 31, 2014
Trapped in a Crawl Space:
"I have been in the attic for twelve years, mom. I need out. Twelve years is just too long. It gets hot in here during summer and cold in the winter. It must've been 120 degrees in here today. I want to move out of here and into the first floor apartment or someplace on a first floor."
"Never ever forget that I have expenses of upkeep outside the mortgage payments. The rents I collect almost cover the monthly payment. Plus I pay taxes, electrical, oil, water, gas & maintenance - inside and out -- bills for the whole building."
"I will find out about my medical suit from the lawyer in October, if I don't call the lawyer before then, but according to the last two times that I have talked to the lawyer: things should be moving ahead with the settlement. I can give you that money to put towards the mortgage."
"I don't think I will be able to change the situation you are in any time soon. If you want to move into a shelter for a few weeks while the authorities find a living space that is better, you can try that."
"Really!? The shelter? Where I can catch double pneumonia and a case of incurable tuberculosis? You would wish that for me?"
"Nothing is free or easy in this world."
"Obviously, you didn't listen to what I said. I am going to be getting some money that I can put towards it."
"It's all in your head."
"You just fucking hate me. No wonder you asked me for a date and time of when I was going to kill myself while I ate hot dogs and nachos outside of 7-11 over Xmas 2011 and you ate lamb from what I saw in pictures online."
"Oh dear!"
"Then, I was threatened with eviction as in 'I am thinking of evicting you' in an email because you wanted to adopt some tenant's baby who calls the cops on me for nothing."
"We have a budget. If I sell the house and buy a condo or small house, there are still the expenses of upkeep, taxes and all of the above. I need the rents to help me."
"You didn't listen to what I said. I am going to be getting some money that I can put towards it."
"It's all in your head!"
"Really!? That's all you can say to me: 'it's all in your head?' You don't think very much of me. Why do you say that? Because I am schizoid? You know the time I hung myself here I was on the phone to you moments before and you said that and hung up the phone on me. So, I hung myself. You've said 'it's all in your head' to me too many times. It hurts my feelings."
"If you want to repaint the apartment, it would be a good project for you. Think about it."
"Repaint the apartment? I can't repaint the apartment with my rib contusion where I was punched during the home invasion, the which you told me was 'all in my head' too. I can't do any labor."
"I need you to help out. You have a job to do. I want you to mow, clean up the basement, sweep ..."
"I can't do any of that. I have a rib contusion, which hurts when it is aggravated."
"I can't help that."
"You would have me walk on water or stand on my two legs if I was a double amputee. I can't do labor because of where I was punched in the ribs."
"It's all in your head."
"Don't say that! I told you that it hurts my feelings. I have experiences. I am getting some money to put towards the mortgage. I've been working on that suit since 2004. You can rent out the attic and second floor as one unit or else sell it as a condo and have the new owners pay the expenses while I move to the first floor as a condo."
"Nobody wants the second and third floor as a unit. There are no renters for it."
"How do you know that? Ask the property manager. I bet he can rent it out."
"I don't care."
"You don't care!? I have about twenty years left on my life judging from the way I smoke. I want to live somewhere I like living for that twenty years. As it is, I have no place to go outside here without some passer-by or tenant calling the police or some thugs beating me up."
"They do not!"
"Thirty-four stops in fifteen years of living in this town, twelve years in this apartment, and you are telling me people don't call the police on me for nothing since I have no arrest record and no points on my license?"
"Stop it! Nobody calls the police on you ..."
"You called the police on me, once. You don't remember?"
"Well, you were not well. You were acting bizarre."
"That was because of the medication that I was on at the time. It caused me to have two sodium seizures. You two shouted at me to take it. I was taking it and almost lost my life twice hospitalized with hyponaetremia."
"I don't want to go over all this old stuff."
"Well, stop saying that 'it is all in my head.' I have experiences. The doctor even came over to the house and took that medicine out of the cabinets after he received the results from a blood test I went for at the hospital back then. You let him in to take the medicine away after you two shouted at me to take it. Now, I have won a medical suit and will be getting some money."
"Check in hand is something else."
"OK. When I receive that check, I will give it to you to put towards the mortgage. The check should be proof enough that 'it is not all in my head.' Meanwhile, stop saying 'it's all in my head!' And, I want out of this crawl space and into the first floor. I can't take this apartment anymore."
"I've had enough of this conversation. Let me repeat: if you want to move into a shelter for a few weeks while the authorities find a living space that is better, you can try that."
"You make me want to kill myself. I may just give you your wish for me to go live under the bridge over I-95 where the homeless people shit."
"Just be sure to give us a date and time of when you are going to kill yourself."
"Five minutes from now."
"Five minutes from now!? Oh really!?"
"You know: I have been called 'pathetic, crazy, schizoid, motherfucker, teat sucker, asshole, not capable of empathy, chicken, zero credibility, hears voices as in 'you hear voices,' alkie who swills drinks with sperm and some epithets I can't even remember. People say within my earshot: 'don't have anything to do with him. He will make your life a living hell.' And, I have been called those things by family, so called friends and strangers alike. What you don't realize is that people, including me, are not altogether autonomous entities and words can affect me just as they would someone else, just as being punched in the ribs during that home invasion."
"You haven't been called those things. I don't remember any of that."
"I have my experiences. You were off globe trotting."
"And, those experiences are all in your head."
"I had four X-rays on my ribs over the years and all show a rib contusion. How is that in my head? I just want some semblance of peace in mind and I can't have that in this attic."
"I don't know what to tell you. There's always the shelter."
"The shelter!? Stop telling me to go to the shelter! I just as soon go under the bridge over I-95 where the homeless people shit and slit my throat than catch a double case of pneumonia at the shelter. I already contracted tuberculosis from shelters out west when you all kicked plastic chairs at me shouting over lunch back then and I left."
"We didn't do anything of the sort."
"You did too. Kicked me out is what you did. I left and lived in my truck for three years. I had a good mind to break all ties with you back then because of the things that you say to me, which reflect what you think about me. Sometimes, with the things you and others have said to me over the years, I think you would rather I was not born. You make me want to kill myself. I can't even talk to you because you just make it up as you go along with no recall of events."
"OK. I'm hanging up now."
"Wait ..."
Click.
"Never ever forget that I have expenses of upkeep outside the mortgage payments. The rents I collect almost cover the monthly payment. Plus I pay taxes, electrical, oil, water, gas & maintenance - inside and out -- bills for the whole building."
"I will find out about my medical suit from the lawyer in October, if I don't call the lawyer before then, but according to the last two times that I have talked to the lawyer: things should be moving ahead with the settlement. I can give you that money to put towards the mortgage."
"I don't think I will be able to change the situation you are in any time soon. If you want to move into a shelter for a few weeks while the authorities find a living space that is better, you can try that."
"Really!? The shelter? Where I can catch double pneumonia and a case of incurable tuberculosis? You would wish that for me?"
"Nothing is free or easy in this world."
"Obviously, you didn't listen to what I said. I am going to be getting some money that I can put towards it."
"It's all in your head."
"You just fucking hate me. No wonder you asked me for a date and time of when I was going to kill myself while I ate hot dogs and nachos outside of 7-11 over Xmas 2011 and you ate lamb from what I saw in pictures online."
"Oh dear!"
"Then, I was threatened with eviction as in 'I am thinking of evicting you' in an email because you wanted to adopt some tenant's baby who calls the cops on me for nothing."
"We have a budget. If I sell the house and buy a condo or small house, there are still the expenses of upkeep, taxes and all of the above. I need the rents to help me."
"You didn't listen to what I said. I am going to be getting some money that I can put towards it."
"It's all in your head!"
"Really!? That's all you can say to me: 'it's all in your head?' You don't think very much of me. Why do you say that? Because I am schizoid? You know the time I hung myself here I was on the phone to you moments before and you said that and hung up the phone on me. So, I hung myself. You've said 'it's all in your head' to me too many times. It hurts my feelings."
"If you want to repaint the apartment, it would be a good project for you. Think about it."
"Repaint the apartment? I can't repaint the apartment with my rib contusion where I was punched during the home invasion, the which you told me was 'all in my head' too. I can't do any labor."
"I need you to help out. You have a job to do. I want you to mow, clean up the basement, sweep ..."
"I can't do any of that. I have a rib contusion, which hurts when it is aggravated."
"I can't help that."
"You would have me walk on water or stand on my two legs if I was a double amputee. I can't do labor because of where I was punched in the ribs."
"It's all in your head."
"Don't say that! I told you that it hurts my feelings. I have experiences. I am getting some money to put towards the mortgage. I've been working on that suit since 2004. You can rent out the attic and second floor as one unit or else sell it as a condo and have the new owners pay the expenses while I move to the first floor as a condo."
"Nobody wants the second and third floor as a unit. There are no renters for it."
"How do you know that? Ask the property manager. I bet he can rent it out."
"I don't care."
"You don't care!? I have about twenty years left on my life judging from the way I smoke. I want to live somewhere I like living for that twenty years. As it is, I have no place to go outside here without some passer-by or tenant calling the police or some thugs beating me up."
"They do not!"
"Thirty-four stops in fifteen years of living in this town, twelve years in this apartment, and you are telling me people don't call the police on me for nothing since I have no arrest record and no points on my license?"
"Stop it! Nobody calls the police on you ..."
"You called the police on me, once. You don't remember?"
"Well, you were not well. You were acting bizarre."
"That was because of the medication that I was on at the time. It caused me to have two sodium seizures. You two shouted at me to take it. I was taking it and almost lost my life twice hospitalized with hyponaetremia."
"I don't want to go over all this old stuff."
"Well, stop saying that 'it is all in my head.' I have experiences. The doctor even came over to the house and took that medicine out of the cabinets after he received the results from a blood test I went for at the hospital back then. You let him in to take the medicine away after you two shouted at me to take it. Now, I have won a medical suit and will be getting some money."
"Check in hand is something else."
"OK. When I receive that check, I will give it to you to put towards the mortgage. The check should be proof enough that 'it is not all in my head.' Meanwhile, stop saying 'it's all in my head!' And, I want out of this crawl space and into the first floor. I can't take this apartment anymore."
"I've had enough of this conversation. Let me repeat: if you want to move into a shelter for a few weeks while the authorities find a living space that is better, you can try that."
"You make me want to kill myself. I may just give you your wish for me to go live under the bridge over I-95 where the homeless people shit."
"Just be sure to give us a date and time of when you are going to kill yourself."
"Five minutes from now."
"Five minutes from now!? Oh really!?"
"You know: I have been called 'pathetic, crazy, schizoid, motherfucker, teat sucker, asshole, not capable of empathy, chicken, zero credibility, hears voices as in 'you hear voices,' alkie who swills drinks with sperm and some epithets I can't even remember. People say within my earshot: 'don't have anything to do with him. He will make your life a living hell.' And, I have been called those things by family, so called friends and strangers alike. What you don't realize is that people, including me, are not altogether autonomous entities and words can affect me just as they would someone else, just as being punched in the ribs during that home invasion."
"You haven't been called those things. I don't remember any of that."
"I have my experiences. You were off globe trotting."
"And, those experiences are all in your head."
"I had four X-rays on my ribs over the years and all show a rib contusion. How is that in my head? I just want some semblance of peace in mind and I can't have that in this attic."
"I don't know what to tell you. There's always the shelter."
"The shelter!? Stop telling me to go to the shelter! I just as soon go under the bridge over I-95 where the homeless people shit and slit my throat than catch a double case of pneumonia at the shelter. I already contracted tuberculosis from shelters out west when you all kicked plastic chairs at me shouting over lunch back then and I left."
"We didn't do anything of the sort."
"You did too. Kicked me out is what you did. I left and lived in my truck for three years. I had a good mind to break all ties with you back then because of the things that you say to me, which reflect what you think about me. Sometimes, with the things you and others have said to me over the years, I think you would rather I was not born. You make me want to kill myself. I can't even talk to you because you just make it up as you go along with no recall of events."
"OK. I'm hanging up now."
"Wait ..."
Click.
Fed Up:
The next door house is hosting a loud, underage party singing Happy birthday to the nation on the night of the 4th, 2014 and set off fireworks amidst tinder box houses all built circa 1910 with dry timber all up inside the erections at caterwauling teeny-boppers being prompted to "drink, drink, drink."
I managed to drown out the noise with my 10,000 BTUs.
They are the same neighbours from out west who move here, have no idea and accuse me who has been living here for thirteen years of ransacking change out of their vehicles.
What I don't understand about the time that everybody's tire is slashed is why the tire slashers didn't slash two or all four tires on all the vehicles and rip apart the windshield wipers too with a key swipe across the paint jobs on the vehicles that night!?! (I guess that they didn't think of it!)
Not the first time that I am accused and it is a plethora of times that I am accused from everything like stealing heat living above another apartment when I explain "heat rises" to a list too long to list here without it reading like a rant.
All I know is that if I even "squeak" my chair or speak an octave higher than a whisper, the police will be knocking at the door because someone calls them on me: much more if I am to host an underage, drinking party keeping the neighbourhood awake with fire crackers and "drink, drink, drink" chants...
I managed to drown out the noise with my 10,000 BTUs.
They are the same neighbours from out west who move here, have no idea and accuse me who has been living here for thirteen years of ransacking change out of their vehicles.
What I don't understand about the time that everybody's tire is slashed is why the tire slashers didn't slash two or all four tires on all the vehicles and rip apart the windshield wipers too with a key swipe across the paint jobs on the vehicles that night!?! (I guess that they didn't think of it!)
Not the first time that I am accused and it is a plethora of times that I am accused from everything like stealing heat living above another apartment when I explain "heat rises" to a list too long to list here without it reading like a rant.
All I know is that if I even "squeak" my chair or speak an octave higher than a whisper, the police will be knocking at the door because someone calls them on me: much more if I am to host an underage, drinking party keeping the neighbourhood awake with fire crackers and "drink, drink, drink" chants...
71 - 73
Before the tenants on the 2nd floor make anything up about my interaction involving opening the front door for their two girlfriends this morning at about 10:30 or 11am on Sunday; February 5, 2012:
(1) Two girls knocked on the downstairs outside door @ 71
(2) I was upstairs and heard the knock
(3) I went down to the front door from the 3rd floor apartment because I thought that it might be Robert
(4) At the front door were two girls knocking for the tenants on the 2nd floor
(5) I saw them through the glass in the front door before opening the front door
(6) I opened the front door for them and went up the stairs towards the 3rd floor apartment door
(7) The two girls followed up the front steps to the 2nd floor apartment door and knocked
(8) I was unlocking the 3rd floor apartment door with a key to it while they were knocking
(9) I said to the two girls knocking on the 2nd floor apartment door behind me (without my turning around) two words, which were: "good morning"
(10) One of the two girls at the 2nd floor apartment door knocking said one word to me in return to the two words that I uttered to them while I unlocked the 3rd floor apartment door @ 71, which was the word: "sorry"
(11) By that point in time: I had unlocked the 3rd floor apartment door and started to close the 3rd floor apartment door behind me and head upstairs to the 3rd floor apartment
(12) As a rule of mine since day one of the current two tenants' move to the 2nd floor apartment @ 71: I avoid and don't go through the 71 front hall or front door unless I have NOT, NOT, NOT heard anyone downstairs on the 2nd floor either about to approach the 2nd floor apartment door or the front door to 71 to enter or exit via the front hall @ 71
(13) Instead of running the risk of running into any tenants (or tenant visitor(s) at 71 or 73 (other than my dog and (2) cats): I wait for at least ten minutes of 'overheard silence' from inside the 3rd floor apartment and ten minutes of a 'projected silence estimate' (20 minutes leeway, altogether) to go by before I venture through any tentant(s)' arteries (outside or inside) at 71 - 73.
(1) Two girls knocked on the downstairs outside door @ 71
(2) I was upstairs and heard the knock
(3) I went down to the front door from the 3rd floor apartment because I thought that it might be Robert
(4) At the front door were two girls knocking for the tenants on the 2nd floor
(5) I saw them through the glass in the front door before opening the front door
(6) I opened the front door for them and went up the stairs towards the 3rd floor apartment door
(7) The two girls followed up the front steps to the 2nd floor apartment door and knocked
(8) I was unlocking the 3rd floor apartment door with a key to it while they were knocking
(9) I said to the two girls knocking on the 2nd floor apartment door behind me (without my turning around) two words, which were: "good morning"
(10) One of the two girls at the 2nd floor apartment door knocking said one word to me in return to the two words that I uttered to them while I unlocked the 3rd floor apartment door @ 71, which was the word: "sorry"
(11) By that point in time: I had unlocked the 3rd floor apartment door and started to close the 3rd floor apartment door behind me and head upstairs to the 3rd floor apartment
(12) As a rule of mine since day one of the current two tenants' move to the 2nd floor apartment @ 71: I avoid and don't go through the 71 front hall or front door unless I have NOT, NOT, NOT heard anyone downstairs on the 2nd floor either about to approach the 2nd floor apartment door or the front door to 71 to enter or exit via the front hall @ 71
(13) Instead of running the risk of running into any tenants (or tenant visitor(s) at 71 or 73 (other than my dog and (2) cats): I wait for at least ten minutes of 'overheard silence' from inside the 3rd floor apartment and ten minutes of a 'projected silence estimate' (20 minutes leeway, altogether) to go by before I venture through any tentant(s)' arteries (outside or inside) at 71 - 73.
An Unofficial Super's Job is To Not Let It Bother You Too Much:
1. tenants have almost burned the place down resulting in my calling the fire department on one occasion: the 3rd floor apartment filling with smoke from a 2nd floor fire;
2. tenant has opened all the windows in their apartment and put the heat on 90 degrees on 14 degree nights;
3. tenants have left mountains of trash behind numerous times;
4. tenants have had all night raging parties;
5. tenants have blamed me for going into their apartments and masturbating on the floor and stealing a pack of cigarettes;
6. tenants have blamed me for running into their vehicles;
7. tenants have short changed me on the CABLE TV and INTERNET apparatus here; then, tenants hijacked my cable account where I had paid 229$/mo. for twelve years.
8. Tenants have sold to pill poppers out the front door.
9. Tenants have counted four 20's into a 100 saying they thought them 25 dollar bills when asked why they were short changing.
10. Tenants have had pets that shit all over the apartments, basement and yards for me to clean up or get cleaned up.
11. Tenant was paid 850 cash to just move out and never come back after he says to me that he is going to fuck me fuck my family and god is going to get me.
12. Tenants hijacked a cable account that I have paid 200/month for 12 years here with the cable company calling my apartment "illegal" refusing to reconnect me without proof from landlord that it is not illegal. Then, it resulted in paying 229$/mo. for one year between 2013 and 2014 until I found out that the monthly bill is $118/mo. for my service.
13. Tenants have clogged toilets in need of repair so that human shit needs to be cleaned while in a space suit with mask and toothbrush.
14. Corroded plumbing resulted in 100,000 flies on the property throughout the apartments until the plumber could come the next week.
15. Third floor apartment is a fire trap with tenants' objects in hallway exits.
16. Tenants don't want me clearing snow in the driveway after 12 years of clearing snow here. Tenants said that they would call for someone else.
17. Tenants claim lease rights in parking during bans without regard to other tenant schedules and leases.
18. Tenants knock on the door complaining of the slightest overhead noise such as something dropping on the floor in the third floor apartment.
19. Tenants have accused me of "starting small fires" in the yard over my discarded filterless cigarettes burning out in grass or snow.
20. Tenants over 12 years have discarded mountains of non-biodegradable cigarette butts into the yard and in the garden that I clean up regularly.
21. Tenant complains of smoke in her apartment five minutes after I go upstairs from downstairs and find a filter cigarette butt on the front door mat that someone else smoked minutes beforehand.
22. Tenant accuses me of stealing heat when I live on the floor above and I have to explain to the tenant that "heat rises."
23. Tenant allows in strangers with keys to the door so that I have to write down license tag and report it.
24. Human feces in the driveway to clean up
25. Complaints of heavy footing in the hallway by 1st floor when 2nd floor tenant steps heavily on purpose
26. tenants intruded my apartment
27. a next door house neighbor kicked in the door on the 1st floor. 1st floor tenants called police
28. everybody on the street had their tires slashed. I wonder why the slashers only slashed one tire on each vehicle and not two or four tires.
29. etc.
2. tenant has opened all the windows in their apartment and put the heat on 90 degrees on 14 degree nights;
3. tenants have left mountains of trash behind numerous times;
4. tenants have had all night raging parties;
5. tenants have blamed me for going into their apartments and masturbating on the floor and stealing a pack of cigarettes;
6. tenants have blamed me for running into their vehicles;
7. tenants have short changed me on the CABLE TV and INTERNET apparatus here; then, tenants hijacked my cable account where I had paid 229$/mo. for twelve years.
8. Tenants have sold to pill poppers out the front door.
9. Tenants have counted four 20's into a 100 saying they thought them 25 dollar bills when asked why they were short changing.
10. Tenants have had pets that shit all over the apartments, basement and yards for me to clean up or get cleaned up.
11. Tenant was paid 850 cash to just move out and never come back after he says to me that he is going to fuck me fuck my family and god is going to get me.
12. Tenants hijacked a cable account that I have paid 200/month for 12 years here with the cable company calling my apartment "illegal" refusing to reconnect me without proof from landlord that it is not illegal. Then, it resulted in paying 229$/mo. for one year between 2013 and 2014 until I found out that the monthly bill is $118/mo. for my service.
13. Tenants have clogged toilets in need of repair so that human shit needs to be cleaned while in a space suit with mask and toothbrush.
14. Corroded plumbing resulted in 100,000 flies on the property throughout the apartments until the plumber could come the next week.
15. Third floor apartment is a fire trap with tenants' objects in hallway exits.
16. Tenants don't want me clearing snow in the driveway after 12 years of clearing snow here. Tenants said that they would call for someone else.
17. Tenants claim lease rights in parking during bans without regard to other tenant schedules and leases.
18. Tenants knock on the door complaining of the slightest overhead noise such as something dropping on the floor in the third floor apartment.
19. Tenants have accused me of "starting small fires" in the yard over my discarded filterless cigarettes burning out in grass or snow.
20. Tenants over 12 years have discarded mountains of non-biodegradable cigarette butts into the yard and in the garden that I clean up regularly.
21. Tenant complains of smoke in her apartment five minutes after I go upstairs from downstairs and find a filter cigarette butt on the front door mat that someone else smoked minutes beforehand.
22. Tenant accuses me of stealing heat when I live on the floor above and I have to explain to the tenant that "heat rises."
23. Tenant allows in strangers with keys to the door so that I have to write down license tag and report it.
24. Human feces in the driveway to clean up
25. Complaints of heavy footing in the hallway by 1st floor when 2nd floor tenant steps heavily on purpose
26. tenants intruded my apartment
27. a next door house neighbor kicked in the door on the 1st floor. 1st floor tenants called police
28. everybody on the street had their tires slashed. I wonder why the slashers only slashed one tire on each vehicle and not two or four tires.
29. etc.
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